Ntuple Indemnity

I’ve been mentioned in a number of different newspapers over the years, sometimes overtly, other times in a very sideways, “but we wouldn’t want to bring any attention to him, would we” sort of way. Of the latter category, my favourite mention is in The Ubyssey (Feb. 28, 2003), and concerns an especially entertaining debate tournament I attended last February. If anyone happens to have the hard copy of this article, let me know.

Here’s the relevant excerpt:

Suddenly, it’s Sunday and Bring in Da Noize, Bring in Da Funk has broken into the quarter and semifinals. I miss the morning rounds again, but watch the novice finals while Mike and Rahim madly prepare a final case. The novice round is a riot.

“This house would force North America to adopt a world standard Scrabble dictionary.” Kevin and Mike Kotrly groan and shake their heads. Only one novice team is funny and, predictably, they win. In front of a much larger crowd, the Sunday rounds are more like performances, and comedy is often what saves or sinks a team.

She didn’t mention that we actually lost in a unanimous 5-0 decision.

For the record, if the NSA were to hold a SOWPODS referendum tomorrow, I’d vote No. In principle it’s a decent idea, for many of the reasons Jim Geary covers far more extensively than I could. (Doesn’t make a very good debate case, unfortunately.) My objection is admittedly out of pure selfishness, as I’m plowing my way through the OSPD fours and can’t be bothered to sink back down to the twos and threes just yet until my word knowledge is a little more solid. At least let me hit 1400 first.

Seen on Yahoo! News:

Harry Potter Fan’s Magic Attempt Sets House Ablaze

MADRID (Reuters) – A woman set her Madrid home on fire as she cooked up a potion in an attempt to imitate the fictional wizard Harry Potter (news – web sites), emergency services said.

The 21-year-old was rescued Wednesday by firemen and treated for minor injuries, but half her home was destroyed.

The ambulance service said she had told them she was trying to emulate the boy magician, hero of the books by J K Rowling that have been a sensation among adults and children alike.

For want of more magical ingredients, the woman cooked up a potion of water, oil, alcohol and toothpaste, local media reported. It was unclear what spell she was trying to weave.

Looks like somebody flunked Potions. But in all seriousness, while it’s enheartening to know that quixotry isn’t dead, this is probably not the best way to go about it. And let’s face it – this is actually rather tame compared to that one woman who drowned doing that Kate Winslet thing on the prow of a cruise ship some years back. Why can’t people do healthy activities nowadays, like building astromech droids?

There is perhaps nothing more irritating than people who point out the spelling mistakes of linguistic policemen such as myself and accuse me of “hypocracy”. Well, okay, there is something more irritating – say, when I stow my vast, largely un-inventoried DVD collection away in a special “do not borrow” cupboard, and visiting relatives make straight for said cupboard. But there isn’t much else.

Here’s some real hypocrisy for you: I’m writing an entry in a completely pointless online journal with no sense of purpose or audience. You see, I don’t think very highly of these so-called “blogs”, the personal ones of absolutely no interest to anyone other than a) prying friends, b) prying former friends and 3) people intending to run a smear campaign against the author in the next election. Ever notice how politicians don’t write these things? They would make them too accountable.

And before you ask, yes, the A-B-3 thing was intentional. I actually talk like that in real life. But if you’re reading this, you probably already know that. Why? Because if you’re reading this, you’re either a) me, b) a dork, or 3) … someone else.

But I digress. My point is, all writing worth mentioning should have a sense of audience. The whole blog revolution may be blinding people to the fact that nobody actually cares about their lives of woe and misery, unless it happens to involve musical numbers or war in Iraq. It’s not unlike how the self-publishing revolution is blinding a lot of people to the fact that real editors won’t pick up their books because their writing sucks.

I don’t think I’ll cover the angle of how the next generation is going to be even more functionally illiterate than this one, because of that wonderful thing called the Internet, or rather, linguistic apathy thereupon. I might turn green and start breaking stuff. For starters, I’ll break open a bag of chips.

On an only slightly related note, has anybody noticed that the Hulk has the most elastic underpants ever? Now that’s a missed gratuitous licensing opportunity if I ever saw one.

To answer a few introductory questions, without going through the trouble of making a completely separate FAQ, which I probably should do at some point or another anyhow: No, this is not a story-of-my-life diary thing – I already have one of those in physical form. Yes, I plan to receive hate mail, and relish in the prospect. No, my film and lit reviews (should they occur at all) will likely not be as comprehensive as those I used to write several websites ago. Yes, the title of this site is an obvious reference to Casablanca. No, you won’t find a shred of Nick-related gossip worth spreading, with the possible exception of the occasional less-than-impressive Scrabble moments, so don’t even bother. Yes, I realize that everything on this site is purely my opinion and should therefore be taken as nothing less than gospel truth.

This site is likely a temporary creation, and I will nomadically move around to newer sites with snappier, more standards-compliant designs (i.e. 100% stylesheets, 0% tables) and completely different foci at some point or other. You will likely quote me on this later and laugh, because I am apt to put this off.

But for now? Read on.