Ntuple Indemnity

You see, Kratos is the token mysterious mercenary fighter with dark brown anime-hair and a purple get-up who follows you around in Tales of Symphonia.

Here is an interesting subtlety sighted today on a student group pamphlet at the U of A Clubs Fair, courtesy of DemocracyNow, formerly known as Students For A Stronger Alberta:

DemocracyNow is a non-partisan organization that fulfills its mission objectives by… Sponsoring the creation and operation of a University of Alberta online student newspaper called The Independent. This newspaper will be devoted to the unbiased repoting and evaluation of national, provincial, municipal, and campus issues from a student perspective.

So it looks like The Independent will be returning after all, but not in the manner that was expected. Mind you, the transition to an online format does not come as a total surprise given their rumoured financial constraints. Indeed, it looks as though its print run will only total one issue. Now instead of being poised to compete with The Gateway, which it never really did given the significant difference of intent between the two publications, it seeks to go head-to-head with Points of Information.

SFASA’s rebranding is an interesting move in itself. The copy on the DemocracyNow pamphlet is almost identical to the now-defunct SFASA website, so the group clearly has the appearance of maintaining a very Albertan focus. It will be interesting to see if this is a sign of them branching out.

As for The Gateway, it has yet to post the already-released first issue of this academic year on the website. This is a pity, since one would be hard-pressed to comment on Chris Samuel’s piece on the Bobby Fischer trial without the ability to link to that specific article.

It is quite curious how the phrase, “to cut one some slack” is idiomatically representative of an increase in leniency, whereas a literal reading of the verb “to cut” – as in budget cuts, tax cuts and haircuts – is a directive to reduce.

So when you tell yourself and your entire readership, including the folks who can’t seem to spell “Canadian” and that one mysterious fellow from Parliament Hill, that you have all of two weeks to muse about Spider-Man 2 and deliver a really snappy treatise on what it says about madness of both science and love, this is what happens: you cut yourself some slack, and in both ways. “Next post,” he promises, “next post.” So the writer is presented with a choice, to either deliver on the promise an unspecified number of days later and in doing so leave an unsatisfied audience drifting away at intermission, or break the promise to let everyone know that he is alive and well (but also one heck of a slacker); and as he is not Spider-Man, either Mary-Jane or the little kids in the gondola car must plunge to the depths of the sea of forgotten ideas, and this tragic dilemma cannot be solved to the satisfaction of all.

If everyone in the world made the same decision and had the same philosophy – to say “I’ll do it later, but at least I’m doing something – nothing would ever get done. Fortunately, that is not quite the case.

Actually, yes it is.

For instance, De-Lovely, the musical bio-pic starring Kevin Kline as Cole Porter, hit North American arthouse screens as early as 2 July and expanded a bit each week. It has, however, failed to reach the city of Calgary. As a matter of fact, there is no sign of this movie even opening in Calgary anytime in the near future; the occasional promotional spot appears on a stateside television channel, and that has been the extent of De-Lovely‘s presence thus far. This is perhaps a sign of the distributors thinking that with all the Stampeding going on around here, everybody’s going to be off at the chucks anyway, so no use releasing a movie that appeals to the same crowd. After all, the Cole Porter aficionados who have Kiss Me, Kate down by heart and the beer-faced hooligans gambling their fortunes on the Sutherlands and Bensmillers and other cylindrical-canopy cowboys are one and the same, are they not? Or maybe it’s just me.

Another case in point: the official release date of Tales of Symphonia was yesterday, 13 July. As of the end of today, not a single video game retailer in Calgary had a copy available. Someone tell the boys at whoever distributes for Namco around here that one should never go blindly assuming that unlike, say, DVDs, nobody’s crazy enough to track video game release dates and try to snag a copy the first day it hits shelves. One would think that the first traditional epic fantasy role-playing title for the Nintendo GameCube, especially one that has received such favourable reviews, would deserve a little more respect.

Speaking of delays, here is an interesting piece of news that has not been mentioned anywhere despite its floating around since late June: according to these minutes from a meeting of the Students’ Union Executive Committee, Rob Anderson of The Independent put in a request for $15,000 in SU sponsorship in order to continue their operations next year.

You know, for a moment I thought they would clean up their act by the time they release their second issue so it would be wholly unnecessary for me to make fun of them again, but to paraphrase what Kevin Massie said about the Singapore Institute of Management in their Worlds quarter-final, “they keep saying such silly things.” We are talking about a student paper that prides itself on being objective and eponymously independent in all the ways that the real McCoy purportedly is not. So why is it actively trying to tie itself to as many organizations as it possibly can?

Never mind that, far from being an independent journalism society with its own Board of Directors and all that jazz, The Independent is a branch operation of a politically-oriented student group. You already have a dose of eyebrow-raising upon realizing that Editor-in-Chief Weston Rudd is the Edmonton Region President of the Alberta Alliance Party. Now it looks as though the guys slapping it together realized that having an ad-free first issue is screwing them over, particularly because nobody is falling for the ruse of paying twenty bucks a year to “receive all SFASA publications and copies of The Independent“ when you can pick them up for free. Looks like “independence” comes with a price, and there is no escaping SU advertising.

If the very title of this publication is some kind of uproariously clever dose of satirical irony, by all means, point it out; after all, this here writer is not really an English major. It should be noted that the Executive is taking the right approach: see a few issues, let the paper float on its own, then cash in once it changes out of its dirty clothes, if ever. To oversimplify, SU money is student money, and is not something to needlessly fork out to this latest paper-bag princess.

As for Spider-Man 2: Next post, next post. On a tangential linguistic note, did I mention how much I love the CBC?

Add Hidalgo to the movie review backlog, since I got around to seeing it last Friday. Then take it off, because it is an underwhelming accomplishment so ho-hum in its mediocrity that there is very little to say either for or against it. Let’s just say that Omar Sharif in the Arabian desert has been done, and Viggo Mortensen riding a horse has definitely been done.

Today marked the launch of The Independent, the new University of Alberta student newspaper run by Students for a Stronger Alberta. One must commend the success of the first issue’s deployment, in terms of getting distribution boxes set up next to The Gateway‘s in prime locations like SUB entrance and CAB. As far as content goes, it is clear that Editor-in-Chief Weston Rudd and Editorial Coordinator Rob Anderson are aiming not to supplant the established campus publication, but to supplement it by focusing exclusively on political commentary at levels federal, provincial and collegiate. It looks like these guys are bent on creating a student paper imbued with “professionalism” – that is to say, devoid of streaking photos and genitalia-laden comic strips.

The first issue, however, is indicative of some very fundamental growing pains that may sink the publication if they are not fixed before the next one goes to press in the new academic year.

The most immediately obvious problem is a failure to appreciate the fact that professional content requires professional design. Simply put, even before one delves into the wealth of verbiage on each individual page, one cannot help but notice that the publication looks like crap. Indentation is disproportionate, headlines are oblivious to basic typography, articles are unclearly delineated, and the bottom of the front page sports a horizontally compressed photograph of Belinda Stronach. People don’t read content, no matter how comprehensive, if it isn’t formatted to be readable.

What is encouraging is that the paper’s editors seem to realize this. In their call for volunteers and staff, special notice is made of the fact that design and layout will be paid. They had better reward a considerable sum to whomever is tasked with fixing this mess.

On the content side of things, The Independent fares better. The depth of thought and analysis is impressive when not constrained by limitations on space imposed by advertising, though it is uncertain how long the sparsity of intrusive advertisements will remain sustainable. This issue comes out guns blazing and hits the big issues – Liberal Party scandals, marijuana, the Tory leadership race – and the writers clearly have a lot to say. Although these debates have been done to death, it is a positive indication of what this publication aspires to be: a forum for big-issue political discourse specifically for student writers. The university-level coverage is not quite so well informed; in writing about the recent Universal Bus Pass referendum, Jane Freeman falls victim to the incorrect and misleading notion that the 63% Yes victory is a greenlight to negotiations with Edmonton Transit – possibly the same misdirection that led to the margin of approval in the first place. When it comes to issues that are relevant to students and students alone, The Independent doesn’t hold a candle to its older cousin.

It may be asking a bit much considering the volume of text in this issue – sixteen solid pages with little to no advertising – but it is in need of more rigorous stylistic editing. While Rob Anderson is visibly analytical and full of ideas about how he thinks the system should work, it is worrying that someone so high up on the editorial chain expresses these ideas with a somewhat amateur grasp of rhetoric. “Doesn’t it just drive you nuts?” he asks about hypocrisy. “Well, it drives me nuts. And it drives me nuts even more when its someone I care about; which is why I am pretty nuts right now with the hypocrisy of Albertans.”

I’ll defer to Strong Bad on this one: “If you want it to be a possessive, it’s just I-T-S; if it’s supposed to be a contraction, it’s I-T-apostrophe-S… scalawag.”

First impressions are key, and the first impression here is that this issue was rushed to press to fit a target date and ride a wave of coverage from the Dave Rutherford Show to The Gateway itself. While this may serve as an effective volunteer call for people who genuinely want to see a content-rich student periodical focused on political issues become a legitimate reality, a lot of this should have been thought through a lot more carefully prior to delivery.

Regardless, I wish The Independent the best of luck, and hope its entirely reparable problems are addressed by the time we next see their distribution boxes stocked.

Now, I’m off to Montreal to run for CUSID Executive Director.

Today’s Gateway rocks. Kyla Coulman writes the article we all needed (and in some ways, the one I always wanted to write myself), a diatribe against the menace to society that is Internet illiteracy. It’s about time somebody stood up for the preservation of our great language in the face of the barbaric throes of lazy idiots. Engineering Students’ Council candidate Graham Lettner proposes to Steve Smith, who finally deserves some recognition for being the God of Separated Powers, and consolation for the Legacy Fund referendum’s crushing defeat last week.

Congratulations to the incoming Students’ Union executive, by the way.

The University of British Columbia’s Pacific Cup tournament last weekend was heavy on rain, short on sushi and left this writer without a break-round appearance, but it came with one valuable lesson: should you ever encounter a Trivial Pursuit question about a college course commonly referred to as “Sadistics”, the answer is not Advanced Organic Chemistry.

Edmonton Opera presents the third and last performance of Madama Butterfly tonight. This has been precluded by outstanding homework in a most unfortunate manner. I would elaborate further, but there is little need for this little website in the sky to degenerate into the angst-filled ramblings of tearful bitterness one often associates with these mythical “blog” creatures. Even if it does, however, I promise linguistic standards will remain upheld.

Speaking of linguistic standards, the measurable quantity of forehead-slapping pettiness and ignorance in this CUSIDnet thread on the pluralization of the word “novice” is almost on par with the uproar about The Passion of the Christ being allegedly anti-Semitic, which it isn’t. Review forthcoming, someday.

Today’s issue of The Gateway was one of the best in recent memory, for a number of reasons. The first, of course, is a front-page article about the UADS heading to Singapore for Worlds over the Christmas break. For those of you who don’t already know, I am one of the six judges along for the ride. Also check out the accompanying photograph, in which Sharon displays one of the cuter expressions in her extensive library of subtextually evil glares.

David Berry scores the Opinion Article of the Week by very accurately dissecting the appeal of Students’ Union political advocacy as lying in empty stomachs rather than actual support for a given cause. Any article with a reference to “SU President Mat Brechtel, or VP (External) Chris Samuel, or, God forbid, Business councilor Steve Smith” is automatically a riot. Granted, Berry makes some errors, such as congratulating Mike Hudema’s success with media awareness when the former SU President is about as guilty of misinterpreting student support as one can get, and mistakenly tying the Speak Out! lectures to Executive initiatives, but he’ll receive his comeuppance in a future Letters to the Editor.

Speaking of which, Letters – consistently my favourite section, and one that only appears in the print edition – featured two significant entries today. The first was from Raymond Biesinger, last year’s Managing Editor, on a matter of factual accuracy regarding Canadian troops in Iraq. “Note,” he writes, “that if two jeeps were to fill the proverbial ‘left, right, and centre,’ they’d be one jeep shorthanded.” The second letter of note was a piece from Chris Jones clarifying a frequent item of student ignorance and misconception, that of the relationship between university funds and the construction of brand spanking new Engineering buildings.

Student journalism rules.